Life Updated

A roundup of some interesting developments in my life since, which will be explored further in the future:

• I've gotten (and thrived in) a job at an indie publishing house here in Portland, which I find significant because I spent four straight years of job-searching on the east coast to literally only two job interviews, while Microcosm opened their doors to me almost as soon as I got here.
• I'm currently working as their director of publicity, a role I find fascinating and challenging (sometimes too much so for my social anxiety) and kind of fun.
• I've become, and over time started coming out as, quite a stoner, which I maybe never would have done before. In the last two years, with my lifestyle constantly changing, responsibilities growing, mental health destabilizing, and my personality shifting, cannabis has become more of a part of my life, health, well-being, and (oddly/awesomely enough) job.
• I've been horrible at deadlines and finishing projects this year. Wish me luck with that in 2018 cause it's gonna drive me into the ground if I don't get it in check. I've got shit to get done.
• I did, however, have a story published in a feminist bicycle science fiction collection, which is probably something I never thought I'd say in this reality. The book is here, and the submission call for the next collection is here (its theme is Dragons).

What I Want

I want to be an editor. I want to be an editor very, very much.

I want to be an editor because I love words. Some people love art, or movies, or music, or animals, but I love words.

I love words more than I love stories, or libraries, or the smell of old books. What would they be without words? A book is no book without its story, and a good story –whether news or fiction – is nothing without the right words. Words describe and explain, praise and hurt, show love and show pain. Words have power.

I love beautiful words that mean beautiful, whimsical, tragic things. Quixotic. Nyctophilia. Heliophilia. Acatalepsy. Metanoia. Aubade. 

My spell-checker doesn't even know these words, but I do, and I love them.

I love the things we do with words. Poetry. Music. Conversation. Journalism. Even the way typography constantly improves the way words look. And, of course, I like to read and to write. I read epic fantasies and angst-ridden teen novels. I write science fiction and romantic dramas. I break grammar rules. I use comma splices. I love whimsical, experimental poetry where almost nothing makes sense at first glance. These things make me love words more. They make me love to play with them.

But none of these would be worth a thing without the right, beautiful, captivating words.

And although I like to string words together that I hope are right, to make a story I hope is good, I love reading other people's words more. I love editing.

I love growing to understand the choices behind each sentence and fixing them when they don't match up to their purpose. I love reading these stories and connecting-- at a deep, creative level-- with the authors, then helping them find the right words, the right combinations, the right punctuation, format and style, to make it exactly what they want.

I love the creativity. The creation. The challenge.

A perfectly written book may be captivating, but for me it's also boring. Give me a brilliant plot marred with rapid point-of-view switches, pathetic grammar and continuity errors that make you cringe. Give me news stories with terrible spelling and facts that have to be triple-checked and checked again. I love projects I can tear to pieces and rebuild twice as well. I like interpreting faults in each text and turning them into strengths, working with writers, bloggers and creators to make their work the best it can be.

I can break things down to find their core. I can pick out the poignant moments that make a scene glimmer, rise, or fall. Most of all, I can hear the voice. I can hear the way a story halts and stutters and flows. A wonderful story is wonderful, but a wonderfully written story is beautiful.

I'm creative, but practical. Critical, but constructive. Determined and helpful. Insightful and inquisitive. I understand the problems of both readers and writers because I am both. And though I may be a reader at heart, I am an editor by nature, and I can't imagine a single other thing I want to do for the rest of my life.

I am looking for new opportunities in the Editing and Publishing because this is what I want to do. I want to know the industry inside and out. I want to learn the best way to use every word and how to make each one count the most for its writer. How to use punctuation and grammar and style for the absolute best result, and understand when breaking those very rules benefits the writer -- and their readers-- more than they detract from the text itself.

I've spent the last few years doing freelance editing work for independent publishers, writers, bloggers and students. Throughout it all, no bad story, terrible grammar or difficult client -- no challenge at all -- has turned me away from the field.

This is what I want to do.

Potential, I said

But somehow it feels like it's become a hole.
Of potential?
As if that could make sense somehow.

As if I have this promise. This depth of undeveloped-ness. And I keep trying to feed it with thoughts. With ideas. To make it grow. To give the potential its substance. But I don't know how. And it aches and yearns and hungers.
And the longer I go without giving it what it needs, the longer I let this void of maybe possibilty sit and gnaw and fester, the more it shifts.

Potential, I said.

I felt a sense of potential.

That was only days ago.

A Few of My...

I haven't spent large amounts of time on surveys since high school, but I found this one on a FLB forum and decided to take a minute to list my favorite things:



what city do you live in - Greensboro, NC


what city would you like to live in - NYC, Sangri-LA


a color you like to wear - Black, Brown, Grey, Blue


a flower you would like to grow in your garden- lilies, lavender, pink or white roses


a smell that makes you pause - vanilla, pumpkin spice, apple/cinnamon


a taste that makes you melt - vanilla, pumpkin spice, Ethiopian Tea...


your favorite meal - salad, seafood, sushi, Ethiopian, anything with lots of veggies and garlic! 


an author who has affected you - FLB and Jacqueline Carey


the magazine you read most frequently - none really, i like cooking magazines and I like to flip through anything with pictures of food and home decorating (and sometimes fashion).


music you prefer to listen to when you are alone - When I'm alone? Showtunes.


the film you could watch over and over - Pride & Prejudice, The Secretary, Coraline


a piece of clothing you love to wear - any boots with skinny jeans and a fluffy coat. Or boots with a whimsical sun dress.


your favorite time of day - Mornings when I've gotten enough sleep and have somewhere to curl up with tea.


things you like to buy - books, food, shoes...


you collect - books, boots, i used to collect Bento Boxes, but not anymore...


your strangest possession - a Sailor Moon alarm clock. 


your prized possession - Not really sure. My newly finished (1st draft) manuscript, maybe. And my puppies. There's nothing else I couldn't live without. 


what delights you - candles, sometimes flowers (pretty, simple, maybe exotic flowers) amazing food, beautiful things, strong gusts of wind on a sunny day. Oh, and anything created by Joss Whedon.


who inspires you - Francesca Lia Block, a lot of actress/advocates like Angelina Jolie


what inspires you - mostly nature and beautiful or epic books


a song that has affected you - Breathe Me by Sia


you love - My partner and our puppies, writing, reading, wandering, cooking, eating, exploring, traveling


the contents of your purse - Right now I'm carrying a wallet only, which has my IDs and cards, including a Red Mango rewards card, as well as coupons from Target and some cash.


things to do before you die - get published, travel the world, eat every kind of food that exists.